Do you have the Bossy Child No Friends problem? When other people call your child bossy, you jump in a remind them that she’s just strong-willed and opinionated.
Deep down, however, you know that your child’s temperament is the main reason why she is struggling socially and you want to find out what you can do about it.
Here are 7 smart things you can do to help your child seem more approachable.
Bossy Child No Friends – 5 Tips To Restore Politeness
Tip 1 – Mirroring
Many bossy children are copying someone or something they have been taught. Usually, this comes from the primary caregiver, but that’s not always the case.
Bossiness and assertiveness are very strong traits but they can be misconstrued in children. If you have a very strong dominant character then try to dial it down a little in your day to day interactions with your children to see if it will make a difference.
Tip 2 – Manners
It’s always a smart thing to remind children about their manners especially if they are strong-willed and can come across bossy. Remind you child that manners will get you through more doors then brute force and that most friends would appreciate a more pleasant approach to getting things done.
Tip 3 – Lead By Example
Give your child the option to frame their interactions with people in a more positive and polite way. For example, if they want to watch something on TV and are demanding the remote, remind them that speaking loudly and rudely will not get them what they want.
Explain that the better way to get what they want is to ask in a more pleasant tone and then wait patiently until the other person is ready to respond. Bossiness usually stems from a child just wanted to get control of a situation which is a great trait to have.
Independence in children should never be punished, but, the choice of words to get there should be.
Tip 4: Appeal To The Child In Them
Manners and discipline aren’t fun to learn. Most children run to the hills at the sight of a lecture about saying “please” and “thank you”.
Instead try to frame your parenting style in a more child friendly way. One smart way to do this is to play a game that encourages positive manners and engages in the appropriate says to behaviour.
A good example would be a role-playing game where you ask your child to play you and you play them. Now you act out a scenario that shows your child what it feels like to be on the other side of bossiness and demands.
Smartly, you get them to act out and say the things you would normally say, (like please, thank you, use your inside voice, don’t shout, ask just once etc)
After a few sessions, you may see the role play rubbing off in real life.
Tip 5: Uniqueness & Personality
The “Bossy Child No Friends” issue is usually down to personality clashes. Ultimately, you want your children to be individuals and express themselves in positive and healthy ways. This should be done in a structured and safe way but without hurting other people around them,
By reminding them of the consequences of their behaviour and showing them the immediate effect it’s having on their social life you can bring to light the problems that this type of behaviour is causing and highlight smart and easy ways to avoid it in the future.
Learning smart and practical things to defend your children but also reprimand them when things have gotten out of hand is important. The “other parents complaining about my child” dilemma is that it’s difficult to know what really happened.
Children temperament can be fragile so it’s important you have patience whenever you are dealing with sensitive issues.