How To Deal With Manipulative Step Daughter

How To Deal With Manipulative Step Daughter

Blended families come with challenges, like how to deal with manipulative step daughter.

When you marry into an already established family, it can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield.

You may be the nicest person in the world, but your stepchildren might not think so.

In fact, it may take them a while to even accept that you’re now part of their family.

While this is usually harmless, you may find yourself wondering how to deal with manipulative step daughter.

If that keeps happening, here are the options available to you.

Related post: I Hate My Stepdaughter! 4 Real Ways To Cope

Ways Your Step Daughter Is Being Manipulative

Ways Your Step Daughter Is Being Manipulative

Now that you’re part of her family, your stepdaughter is likely to be unhappy about it for various reasons.

The biggest one is that it may feel like you’re trying to replace their birth parent, and they may resent you for it.

That is when they can start engaging in manipulative behavior to frustrate you and even make you go away if possible.

It can take many forms, including emotional blackmail, to get what they want and to lie about you to others.

They may also start doing small things that may cause a rift between you and your spouse.

How To Deal With Manipulative Step Daughter

As much as you may want to enjoy your new marriage, it would not be possible unless you deal with your manipulative stepdaughter.

Sometimes this goes away on its own after a while once your step daughter finally accepts that you’re there to stay.

However, if it doesn’t look like this behavior is ending any time soon, this is what you can do:

Keep your cool

Whatever you do, you need to make sure that you don’t always react when your step daughter does something.

It may be what they were hoping for, and they will continue with the manipulative behavior until you can’t take it anymore.

Instead, acting like it is no bother, you will make them get tired of playing games with you.

Related post: My Grown Step Daughter Hates Me! 4 Ways To Cope

Get a record of everything

Get a record of everything

Sometimes it can be tough to pinpoint manipulative behavior, especially when it’s only happening to you.

Your stepdaughter may be doing things to you behind everyone’s back and then lying about it when you involve others.

Having a record of the events, whether electronic or written, will go a long way in making sure that your side of the story is heard.

It can also help you identify patterns and triggers of why your stepdaughter is acting this way.

Maintain a united front

As stated earlier, the goal of this kind of behavior could be separating you and your spouse.

In that case, ensure that you talk to your spouse about it.

You both need to come up with a way to work together and help your stepdaughter understand that you’re not going anywhere.

Be clear about your role

Be clear about your role

When your stepdaughter is not sure about you and your role in the new family, a simple talk early on can help clear this confusion.

make it clear that you’re not planning to replace their birth parent even though you’ll assume some of their roles from now on.

Ask for help

Ask for help

If the manipulative behavior keeps escalating, then you need to involve other people.

You can see a psychologist or a behavior specialist as a family who will help you work through the problems you’re having with your stepdaughter.

Give it time

Most often than not, your stepdaughter will not love you immediately, and that is okay.

Just be patient and find ways of earning their trust and respect over time.

It’s not easy cultivating and maintaining a great relationship with stepchildren.

However, knowing how to deal with manipulative step daughter will make life much easier in your new family.

Related Post: How To Deal With An Ungrateful Child


Iesha Mulla

Iesha is a loving mother of 2 beautiful children. She's an active parent who enjoys indoor and outdoor adventures with her family. Her mission is to share practical and realistic parenting advice to help the parenting community becoming stronger.

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