My 30 Year Old Daughter Hates Me
Big Kid

My 30 Year Old Daughter Hates Me

It’s a stressful and challenging scenario when a grown child disrespects their parent in their own house.

It’s tough for a parent to deal with this kind of disrespect because they frequently don’t feel empowered to create rules like they would with a younger child or enforce limits like they would with an unrelated adult.

To know more about my 30 year old daughter hates me, keep reading!

My 30 Year Old Daughter Hates Me

Parents with daughters frequently inquire as to why my grown daughter is so cruel to me.

And, for the most part, this inquiry is asked with genuine sadness in their hearts.

It is because most parents have strong attachments to their daughters.

Research has shown that a father’s brain reacts differently to his daughter than to his son. 

Another study found that the link between a mother and her daughter is stronger than many people imagine.

The grown child is an adult with their stresses and obligations, and they may not be coping well with life’s stresses.

That is still no justification for tolerating or allowing rude behavior.

After all of the efforts, time, and energy that went into raising the child, it’s easy to become enraged in instances like these.

It can seem like a smack in the face when an adult kid is ungrateful or disrespectful, but anger frequently exacerbates the issue by reinforcing that the adult child has the right to think or act the way they do.

Managing a rude grown child depends very much on the source of the disrespect.

1. Simply Put, Their Brain Hasn’t Fully Formed Yet.

When people reach the age of 18, many societies consider them to be adults.

However, our brains do not develop in this manner.

A rising body of evidence demonstrates that the adolescent brain continues to mature well into adulthood. This development is both cognitive and emotional. 

You don’t fully comprehend (or at least don’t contemplate) the repercussions of your acts, and you lack the emotional capacity to control your behavior.

So, until a child reaches the age of 30, you aren’t arguing with them.

If they are younger than this, it may be helpful to realize that they are still on the neurological route to becoming an adult.

Read a related post: Why Does My Baby Hate Me

2. As An Adult, You Are Invading Their Privacy

Your daughter was always honest with you about everything when you were a kid.

They discussed every detail of how their school day went, what they and their friends talked about, and what they liked and disliked about everything. Nothing was hidden. 

As they grew older, though, they began to keep things to themselves and stopped sharing every detail with you.

These children have grown up, which means they no longer want you to walk into their rooms without knocking, monitor their phones whenever you want, and interfere with their lives as a spy. 

All of these things can irritate your daughter and appear to be a violation of her privacy. This may result in impolite and hurtful behavior toward parents.

3. Something In Their Lives Is Causing Them Stress

Perhaps their work or studies are wearing them down. They might have a low sense of their self-worth and self-esteem as a result of their unemployment.

Perhaps they are having difficulty sustaining relationships because of their unemployment. 

As a result, they vent their frustrations on you because you’re present and willing to take it. Psychology calls this displacement.

Even so, they can still express their feelings disrespectfully to you, despite being unable to direct their energies in the direction of the source of their feelings.


By now, you have the reason for “my 30 year old daughter hates me”!

There is a chance you can restore your relationship with your grown daughter even if you believe it is severely damaged and cannot be repaired.

You, as parents, simply need to take a psychological rather than an emotional approach.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Why do daughters hold grudges against their mothers?

Exactly. Because she still regards her mother as all-powerful, a daughter may overreact to what she perceives as her mother’s criticism.

Daughters often do not realize how powerful they are: they are the ones who decide how often they will see their adored grandchildren.

What does it mean to have a toxic mother-daughter relationship?

Even the most laid-back mother-daughter relationships have their stumbling blocks.

Instead of reciprocal support, a toxic relationship is centered on rage, emotional manipulation, and other negative and painful feelings.

Why do moms and daughters have such a tense relationship?

Mothers and daughters battle over who gets their emotional needs satisfied when women’s emotional needs are silenced.

Mothers and daughters quarrel over their lack of independence when women’s lives are constrained by oppressive gender stereotypes that limit their options and freedom.”

Iesha Mulla

Iesha is a loving mother of 2 beautiful children. She's an active parent who enjoys indoor and outdoor adventures with her family. Her mission is to share practical and realistic parenting advice to help the parenting community becoming stronger.

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