My Son’s Girlfriend Is Manipulative – 3 Ways To Cope

As parents, there can be clear signs that my son’s girlfriend is manipulative.

While kids might seem honestly happy with their dating or personal lifestyle, as a parent, you can tell that they are in a controlling or abusive relationship. 

A manipulative relationship can lead to intimacy, trust, respect, and security problems.

Contrary to the perception that parents getting to know their kid’s partner is somewhat invading their boundaries, knowing your son’s girlfriend can enhance a positive parent-son relationship. 

So, if your son’s girlfriend is manipulative, should you confront him? How do you intervene without becoming an anti-girlfriend bad guy? 

Here is all you need to know.

1. My Son’s Girlfriend Is Manipulative- Obvious Signs Parents Can’t Ignore

Kids, especially teens in their first relationship, may not recognize the signs of a toxic relationship.

All the smooth talks, creepy or stalking tendencies from their partner, are a sign of love. 

Parents may see through their son’s girlfriend, but there are other red flags keep an eye on. Physical abuse and aggressive language are obvious signs parents should notice instantly.

Other obvious signs that should prompt you to take action on this matter are:

• If she is trying to distance him from you or his family.
• Your son reacts negatively or flinches in her presence. 
• When she constantly ridicules and criticizes your son or his family.
• If she is using tricks to get something she wants from her boyfriend.
• Your son is always a victim of the blame game. 
• If she heartlessly uses your son’s emotions to make him agree to her terms.
• If they are spending much time together and less time on school or other activities.

Also, parents need to understand why their sons commit to any manipulative relationship before taking any action. 

Editorial post: My Son Hates His Stepfather

2. Possible Reasons Why Your Son Is With A Manipulative Girlfriend

The signs might be clear, but most parents can’t help but wonder why their kid is willingly dating a toxic partner.

Your son may be ‘too hooked in love’ to understand that he’s in an unhealthy relationship.

Kids sometimes might be in such a relationship out of fear of abandonment. 

3. Taking Action In Your Son’s Unhealthy Relationship

It’s easy for you to recognize when another person is taking advantage of your loved one.

Unfortunately, your ‘deeply in love son’ may not yet be in a position to differentiate an unhealthy relationship from a healthy one.

It’s your parental responsibility to take action and start a conversation with your son about his manipulative partner.

Still, it would be best if you were careful about how you approach the matter. You don’t want to hurt his feelings, lose their trust or worse, and they will take you as a controlling parent.

First, you might want to have a sit down with your son. Explain to him how his girlfriend’s behaviour is undesirable.

Be honest and help him connect the dots between his relationship and the manipulative behaviour. 

Asks them questions about how they feel about their situation. What change they would like in their life at the moment. 

It’s vital to have this sit-down immediately when you suspect any of the manipulative signs.

If you wait and he’s in a bottomless pit in the relationship, it may take longer for him to listen to your concerns.

Another essential step you should consider is scheduling consistent family time. It’s normal for your adolescent boy to separate from his family.

But if they do it after getting in a relationship, you should consider some stringent friendly actions that will limit their interactions with their new partner.

For instance, impose curfew hours in your home. Set a particular time they shouldn’t be outside.

You may want to introduce an activity that keeps them occupied instead of spending time with the manipulative partner.

If it’s out of control, then you might want to keep them grounded for a while.

Consider getting help, especially if your son is in an abusive relationship.

Send him to a guidance counsellor or psychiatrist if the relationship poses an immediate threat to your son.

You might also ask his closest friend, cousin or sibling to talk with him. Another person’s perspective might help him see his girlfriend for who she is. 

Parenting reaches a whole new level of complications when your precious little boy becomes aware of their sexual feelings.

However, this shouldn’t deter you from educating him about healthy relationships, especially if you have the feeling that my son’s girlfriend is manipulative.