Should An 11 Year-Old Have A Boyfriend
Big Kid Toddler Discipline

Should An 11 Year-Old Have A Boyfriend

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Developing a romantic interest among pre-tweens is normal today.

Tweens begin to show romantic interest in other individuals at a very young age, and this varies greatly from child to child. Some children may exhibit an interest in dating as early as age 10, while others may wait until they are 12 or 13 to do so.

Growing up, we all have had a crush on that one teacher or a person in the neighborhood.

Puberty influences these teenagers to develop a romantic interest during their pre-tween ages. 

This article gives you a detailed insight on the burning question, should an 11-year-old have a boyfriend?

Dating and dating culture varies among children at 11 years as they grow mentally, socially, and sexually.

However, it can be difficult for tweens to create healthy relationships like adults. 

Should An 11 Year-Old Have A Boyfriend?

Relationships with people of similar and opposite genders are important.

These relationships groom young adults to develop healthier, longer, and more discoverable perspectives of who they want to be in the future. 

It helps them understand different partnerships rather than forcing relationships in a specific direction.

Your child will feel more empowered during school, high school, or even college when they choose friends without your intervention.

If your 11-year-old daughter is interested in dating, your concern is justified.

However, it is a delicate subject, and you need to tread carefully in this regard.

Here is some useful information on how to handle such circumstances tactically.

1. Regular Friendly Communication

Develop a healthy and friendly relationship with your child before they start dating. Talk to them about online and offline behavior.

Adjust and adapt the nature of your conversations depending on your child’s age.

Straightforward communication is a  cornerstone to a healthy parent-child relationship.

So, as uncomfortable as it might be, carry out regular conversations with your tween about the big issues regarding dating–even if your pre-tween cringes at the idea.

  • To boost your tween’s confidence about dating, stay involved with your tween by sharing first-hand experiences. 
  • Steer clear of misinformation and practice role-playing with an open mind.
  • You keep the lines of communication open with your tween by accepting their love interests. 
  • You can encourage them to tell you their feelings or ask for advice when they are in need.
  • Have focused discussions with them on what’s consent, healthy relationships, and avoiding alcohol and drugs. 
  • You should discuss whether their friend is a healthy or bad influence. 
  • Ask open-ended questions such as what they like about the person or what they have in common with their love interest.

2. Exposure To Positive Examples

To build your child’s self-esteem, it is important not to pressure them with your ideologies on dating.

Also, keeping them out of the media’s influence is hard these days.  

Instead, introduce stories of happy and successful kids without romantic relationships for them to be inspired and focused on their goals in life.

Have a lot of conversations about relationships until they reach at least 14 years old.

3. Group Dating

A study suggests that girls typically start by 12 and 45% of boys start to date by 13 and 30%. 

However, group dating is more common for this age, to bond with friends of the opposite sex and make introductions.

If you are fine with your tween dating in groups, be clear with them about your expectations.

Talk to them about appropriate behavior when they are out and what places they can go to at certain times.

Make it clear that they require a parent to be present if they are not in public.

If you decide that your tween will be safer by dating in a group, you should set rules and communicate them to your child.

You also want to have regular conversations about the complexities of tween dating, for example—texting, social media, and what to do when the relationship splits up.

It will empower your teenager to come out on top once they grow up.

4. Befriend Your ween Daughter

When the tweens venture into this new stage, they are not only excited but also confused.

They are under peer pressure and resort to surprising behavior when they act without proper guidance. 

Below are a few suggestions on becoming the confidante of your adolescent daughter.

  • Respect the feelings of your pre-tween and never assume that they are not in a serious relationship. 
  • Never tease, make fun or say something negative about the person they are dating.
  • Do not undermine the relationship by taking it lightly and treating it unimportant.
  • Never make the mistake of treating them still like a baby. Acknowledge their changing personality and let them know you are available if they need friendly advice.


With most tween love interests lasting only a few months, it’s important to move beyond thinking of this as dating.

Instead, do your best not to be overwhelmed by your tween’s budding curiosity as they explore what they want with respect and boundaries.

Should an 11-year-old have a boyfriend? I hope your worries are alleviated here. 

Also read: My 12 Year Old Daughter Smokes

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is it safe to allow your daughter to start dating at 11 years?

It is important to consider your child’s maturity level, especially when it comes to dating.

Not all tweens are mature or responsible enough to handle relationships at a young age, while others might need more time until they are ready. 

However, making some acceptable arrangements allows them to explore this area safely.

  • Set your ground rules for safety and see that they follow them strictly.
  • Never allow one-on-one time without supervision.
  • Discuss the risks of abuse and violence in dating related to physical and digital perspectives.
  • Let them know about consent and how it works.
  • Talk about sexting and sex. Let them know how big these are and the repercussions if things go south.
  • Ensure that they know what a healthy relationship feels like.

What do you say to your tween who needs help after a breakup? 

One minute they are on cloud nine, believing they found their soulmate, the next, they pick up the pieces of their broken heart.

Fortunately for them, you have a few tips to help them move on quickly.

If your child faces a breakup, you should listen more and validate what they’re feeling.

There is nothing worse for a tween than experiencing heartache and being made to feel that their feelings are less of a big deal.

Speak honestly as you would with any other friend– it will build your child’s trust.

Become supportive if a child breaks up with a partner.

Yes, it will be tough, but it’s necessary to comfort your child when they have done so themselves.

Talk to them about coping with disappointment, rejection, and pain.

How is social media influencing dating in children?

These days the kids are turning to social media and forming virtual relationships.

They entail even more dangers as the pre-tweens are vulnerable to a stranger who can have any kind of motives.

It would be beneficial for teens to know the meanings of social media posts to figure out appropriate ways to engage with peers.

Teens should think about whether it is safe and appropriate to communicate via text or post on social media when given a chance.

You need to discuss with your child about their smartphone use and set rules and boundaries for the time of the day that you can use.

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Mo Mulla

Mo Mulla is a work from home dad who enjoys reading and listening to music, He loves being a dad and husband to a growing family. He also loves writing about his passions and hopes to change the world, 1 blog post at a time!

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