Some parents ask themselves this very series question, “Why Having Kids Ruined My Life!”
Whether you are ready or not for a child, one of the expectations is that you love the experience and not complain.
In fact, you may even feel guilty for thinking about how having children ruined my life. Don’t worry, these are entirely valid feelings, and you can work through them to get to a place where you’re comfortable.
Why Having Kids Ruined My Life
- You miss the freedom you had when you were childless. Being a parent is a stressful, mostly thankless full-time job, especially when the kids are small. Due to this, you’re likely not to find the time to do all the things you love, leading to resentment towards your child.
- You might have had to give up something you loved to be a parent. Maybe you wanted to explore the world first, and you hadn’t planned to have kids yet. Also, mothers are usually forced to quit their jobs and put their lives on hold for some years as they raise the kids.
- Your kids may have changed your family dynamic for the worse. Due to the stressful nature of raising a child, the parents also vary greatly and start drifting apart. It can also be caused by the fact that they now have less time to focus on each other.
- The timing of having kids matters a lot, and you can feel like they are ruining your life if you got them earlier or later than planned. Also, an accidental pregnancy for someone who wanted to be childfree can be life-ruining.
- Difficult children can make you regret having kids, especially if you can’t bond with them. It also happens if your child is sickly or has developmental issues.
How To Cope With Children
The first thing you need to remember is that feeling like this doesn’t make you a bad person. It is completely normal to want things to go back to normal after a major life event like having kids. However, one thing you should do is talk it out with your partner or a licensed therapist.
You can also form or join a local group for parents so that you can share some of the parenting frustrations you’re going through with them. It will help you to get some much-needed perspective over the situation. You should also not be afraid to ask for help, even if it’s just someone watching over your kids as you do something you love.
Taking a break from your kids once in a while will be good for your mental wellbeing, and in turn, you’ll be able to be a better parent.
If you’re thinking that having kids ruined my life, then you’re not alone. Whether this feeling is temporary or permanent for you, be honest with yourself and the people around you so that you can start enjoying this new normal you’ve found yourself in.