Some parents ask themselves this very series question, “Why Having Kids Ruined My Life!”
Whether you are ready or not for a child, one of the expectations is that you love the experience and not complain.
In fact, you may even feel guilty for thinking about how having children ruined my life.
For instance, it destroys many individuals’ physical and mental health. Life won’t be as it was, since you now have to care for a new being.
Don’t worry, these are entirely valid and typical feelings many new parents experience. The good news is that you can work through them to get to a place where you’re comfortable.
Read on to gather insights how to manage these feelings and how to make the best of your parenting journey.
Why Having Kids Ruined My Life
While being a parent is a joy for most people, not everyone feels the same.
It’s not unheard of for some parents to regret having children. Most people perceive this as selfishness, viciousness, and inflicting pain on an innocent child.
Still, parenting challenges can cause some parents to ponder why having kids ruined my life.
But, again, this is a typical feeling that shouldn’t consume the better part of your conscience. Even better, it’s a fixable emotional part of human nature.
So if you’re regretting having kids, here’s why you may be feeling like this:
The hard truth is, especially at the onset of your parental life, having kids will impede the vibrant, interesting, fun life you had going on.
You miss the freedom you had when you were childless. Being a parent is a stressful, mostly thankless full-time job, especially when the kids are small.
Also, due to emerging responsibilities, you will find yourself limiting your freedom for your little one to have the best care and attention.
Due to this, you’re likely not to find the time to do all the things you love, leading to resentment towards your child.
Your world will appear so small now, but as your kid comes of age, your former life will slowly unfold to how it used to be.
Still, don’t expect everything to slide back to normal perfectly.
The change required to accommodate your little angel can be pretty shocking. In most cases, it’s almost impractical to be entirely ready for this drastic change.
Parenthood is a significant forfeit. Dads and moms have to abandon vast parts of their lives to take care of children sufficiently.
As such, you might have had to give up something you loved to be a parent. Maybe you wanted to explore the world first, and you hadn’t planned to have kids yet.
Also, mothers are usually forced to quit their jobs and put their lives on hold for some years as they raise the kids.
Nonetheless, the forfeit of your desired activities and life can produce a remarkable gain, fulfilling a purpose for your life.
Providing, taking care of a child, and seeing them uncover milestones as they come of age provides an overflowing feeling of accomplishment, pride, and joy.
3. Material Changes
The transition to parenthood naturally marks an intense change to your sense of self and ways of engaging with the world. Your kids may have changed your family dynamic for the worse.
Due to the stressful nature of raising a child, the parents also vary greatly and start drifting apart. It can also be caused by the fact that they now have less time to focus on each other.
The timing of having kids matters a lot, and you can feel like they are ruining your life if you got them earlier or later than planned. Also, an accidental pregnancy for someone who wanted to be childfree can be life-ruining.
Some kids are born with a more challenging temperament.
Parents whose kids have a high impulsive activity level or tend to be overwhelmed by routine changes or new experiences, cannot calm themselves well and adapt slowly to changes have less fun parenting.
Difficult children can make you regret having kids, especially if you can’t bond with them. It also happens if your child is sickly or has developmental issues.
How To Cope With Children
There is certainly a lot of joy and blissful experiences associated with having kids. But, on the other hand, it’s also not unusual to feel devastated with negative feelings and a lot of pressure on your emotions.
The first thing you need to remember is that feeling like this doesn’t make you a bad person. Also, you are not the only person feeling the downside of having kids.
It is completely normal to want things to go back to normal after a major life event like having kids.
However, one thing you should do is talk it out with your partner or a licensed therapist.
You can also form or join a local group for parents so that you can share some of the parenting frustrations you’re going through with them.
It will help you to get some much-needed perspective over the situation.
You should also not be afraid to ask for help, even if it’s just someone watching over your kids as you do something you love.
Taking a break from your kids once in a while will be good for your mental wellbeing, and in turn, you’ll be able to be a better parent.
Leisure time by yourself or with your partner will go a long way in maintaining your sense of self and sanity.
If you’re thinking that having kids ruined my life, then you’re not alone.
Whether this feeling is temporary or permanent for you, be honest with yourself and the people around you so that you can start enjoying this new normal you’ve found yourself in
Mo Mulla is a work from home dad who enjoys reading and listening to music, He loves being a dad and husband to a growing family. He also loves writing about his passions and hopes to change the world, 1 blog post at a time!