5 year old temper tantrums are very hard to handle.
Your child is trying hard to express themselves but is still learning the correct ways to do it.
It’s harder to communicate correctly when your child is dealing with bigger emotions like fear, anger or jealousy.
This leads to anxieties and conflicting emotions which if left unchecked can lead to very explosive 5 year old temper tantrums.
In this short article, I’ll explain what temper tantrums are, why they happen and the easiest way to avoid them in the first place.
Related: 5 Year Old Not Listening
What are Temper Tantrums?
Temper Tantrums range from kicking and hitting to whining, whinging and screaming.
It can even include breath-holding. These all bubble up to form a temper tantrum or a mini-meltdown.
Both girls and boys go through similar reactions and it usually occurs most frequently between the ages of 1 and 3.
Temper tantrums are different for different children.
Some kids have them more often than others but it is a normal part of child development.
Tantrums are your kids’ response to not being able to express themselves correctly and happen more often when kids are overstimulated, hungry and tired.
It will take an incredible amount of patience and resilience to actively control them but with time children usually grow out of them.
As a general rule once your child develops better language and vocuablary skills they will throw less tantrums.
Toddlers crave independence and want to have more control then they are allowed.
This will eventually lead to anxiety, conflict and power struggles.
Steps To Avoid 5 Year Old Temper Tantrums
Step 1: Acknowledgement
This is the first step in avoiding 5-year-old temper tantrums.
You must acknowledge why your 5-year-old is getting upset in the first place and importantly describe what may have upset them.
Most parents can be so distracted and thrown off by the temper tantrum itself, they forget to acknowledge the route cause of it.
Try to explain your self so that your child can see that you understand them and are trying to resolve their problem.
For example: “Sweetie, I understand that you wanted to get dressed and go to the park but now you have to wait for breakfast. I’m so sorry it’s taking so long“
This will also work effectively for 5 year old tantrums when told no and 5 year old tantrums at bedtime.
Step 2: Avoid Getting Hurt
learning how to deal with 5 year old behavior can be difficult.
Especially when your child is aggressive and vicious when they get upset.
Remind your child that that “hitting, biting & lashing out hurts” and you don’t want get hurt!
It can sometimes help for kids to be able to push against you to vent anger, but this should be short-lived.
Try to constant reminder your child that, ‘hitting is not the correct way to express yourself” and to “use your words instead.
If you are dealing with 5 year old temper tantrums at school then you may have to take immediate action.
Especially if your child is getting aggressive with other children and teachers.
Step 3: Finding A Safe Place
A smart way to deal with 5 year old temper tantrums is to find a safe place to vent emotions.
This could mean a safe place in your home or outside.
Try to isolate a room or an area that your child can sit down and talk to you with no judgement.
Listening is the most important factor so try not to interrupt too much.
Allowing your child to get things off there chest will have a cathartic effect.
Once they are finished remind them you are always here to talk, hug them and tell them you love them.
These are all key components of creating a safe and open environment to actively manage emotions.
Also, this method works very well for 5 year old tantrums at bedtime! (give it a try)
Step 4: Empathy Wins
The best way to deal with 5 year old temper tantrums is to avoid them in the first place.
Children can get upset very easily of small things so being empathetic to your individual child’s needs is important.
Understanding when to put your foot down and when to give them some slack will go along way to reduce 5 year old emotional meltdowns.
Your primary role is to help understand what your child is going through at any given time. Ask yourself:
Have they gone through anything small or big that could trigger a tantrum?
Is it happening at a particular time of day?
Does it happen more often with 1 parent but not the other?
At the time of the tantrum your child is completely overcome with emotions and may not be able to see straight.
This means your normal way of parenting may not work.
This can be overbearing for you both as it escalates from mild argument to full-blown temper tantrums in a matter of moments.
Being patient, empathetic and putting yourself in your child shoes will always improve the situation and reduce the stress levels for you both!
This is a smart and proactive way to reduce 5 year old temper tantrums.
Why does my 5-year-old want to hurt me?
Usually, a child who lashes out at other people or you have reached a climax point.
They may feel that you are not understanding them verbally so will try to express anxieties and frustrations non verbally.
Lashing out is a cry for attention and a plea for help. Although it isn’t always as obvious as it may sound.
What to do when your child lashes out:
- Stay calm. This is easy to say but not as easy to do. Sudden pain sends us into nature flight or fight mode and makes it almost impossible to view our child as friendly and not an enemy.
- Don’t get aggressive. Any act that looks or sounds abusive may just breed more aggressive behaviour. Don’t make the situation worse by spanking, threatening or verbally exploded. Instead, take a step back, gather your thoughts and return with a clear mind.
- Remind your child that “Hitting is not acceptable” and that “it hurts mummy when you hit her”
Here’s a quick video on HOW TO STOP TANTRUMS FOREVER!