Raising a child can be difficult when you are in a relationship but when you are a single parent it can turn from difficult to very stressful. Learning How To Be A Better Single Mother can be difficult, especially if your situation has recently changed
The pressure mounts and it can sometimes get overbearing as you try to balance so many roles all at the same time.
However, there are realistic ways to manage expectations and other strategies you can use to propel you and your family forward positively.
How To Be A Better Single Mother: 7 Positive Mindset Tips
1. Show love
Always remember to show praise and affection to your child. It’s the most fundamental principle for parenting but it’s at the top for a reason. Remember the reason you decided to have children in the first place and set some aside each week just for 1 – 1 time.
2. Routines work
Parenting is all about routines and sticking to timetables. This will give your child the security and foundation that they need.
3. Child Care
It’s essential you find a well trained and professional childcare service. It may be more expensive but ensure that the care is right for you and your family structure.
4. Rules and Expectations
Set limits in your household so that your child knows, unquestionable, what you will and won’t put up with. Try and write them out if you can. As your child grows you can re-write and edit them as you see fit. Put them in an obvious place in the home.
5. Don’t spoil
Spoiling any child is always short-lived. Children react better in the long term to praise and appreciation as opposed to gifts and treats. Regardless of the reason why you are a single parent don’t overcompensate by spoiling your child as it will have negative effects as they grow. If you really have to spoil them with something, spoil them with love!
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Good Friends and family are always willing to lend an extra hand as they can appreciate that it’s not easy doing the job you do. If the help is available accept it with open arms. If it was the other way around you would assist your friends and family so don’t feel guilty that they just want to help.
7. Keep positive
Whatever is happening right now won’t last forever and everything changes over time. If things are difficult to talk to your child. Don’t shield them from the fact that you are trying to make ends meet. Keeping them in the loop will strengthen your relationship and will teach power emotional lessons of gratitude, empathy and the willingness to help others.
How To Cope With Being A Single Mom – 6 Practical Tips
1. Set Boundaries
It’s important you set boundaries between yourself and your child so that you don’t have the unintended consequence of having them lead you into decisions that are too much in their favour.
Any parent and child relationship must have clear foundational rules to prevent exploitation. Children are smart and may manipulate their situation to get what they want.
For example, if your child mentions something like “When I stay with my dad, his wife lets me eat ice cream every day for dessert” then don’t be coerced into caving in. Remind them that it’s not ok and “in this household, there are rules you have to follow”
2. Say No
Many single parents find it difficult to say no. If they are leveraging a situation to get you to bend and you don’t feel it is acceptable then say no.
There are clear rules in place for a reason and too much exploitation of them will send out the wrong message about your parental structure and discipline regime.
3. Set a positive example
Things aren’t always going to go the way you planned it and you have to be resilient in your parenting approach and set a good example. By keeping positive and leading by example you show your children that despite the setbacks you are still strong and determined to make things work.
This attitude will rub off on your child as they have their own trials and tribulations.
4. Be approachable
Sometimes single parents are so tied up in the important aspects of running a home, family and a career that they don’t seem approachable for the small things.
Although all those things are important don’t lose sight of what you are doing it all for. Try to keep yourself open and approachable so that your child feels they can come to you for the small things.
Then when something big does happen in their life they will let you know first as you’ve built the trust and respect to be available for them n matter what.
5. Get outside your comfort zone.
This applies to single parents and normal parents but you have to step outside your comfort zone occasionally. You may already do this as a single parent as you take on both parenting roles but also try to do different things with your child.
They should feel inspired by what you do and how you do it as well.
6. Be Selfish
Looking after number 1 is crucial when learning how to be a better single mother. It may feel wrong but if you don’t create an environment where you can refresh, relax and rejuvenate you’ll never be able to achieve the things you want to.
Self-reflection time is just as important as “Go Get It” attitude time so don’t forget to give yourself a pamper day once a month. This also has the added benefit of putting a new perspective on your current life and environment which will give the chance to better reflect on your child and how much you appreciate them!
Even if other parents don’t like me for it, I adopt the above guideless as it works.