Learning how to be a good mother to a toddler can take some time.
Toddlers are very difficult to handle. They are full of excitement and laughter but are constantly testing boundaries which makes parenting them an arduous task.
Between telling them repeatedly to “Put that down” to trying to toddler-proof the entire house, only to find them covered, head to toe, in thick cream, it’s a trying time, to say the least.
In this article we’ll review the best ways to learn how to be a good mother to a toddler and show you advanced parenting tips to keep them active and happy without yelling, screaming or tantrums!
Editorial Pick: How To Discipline A Toddler
Learning how to be a good mother to a toddler is about managing expectations and following guidelines that are flexible. Good discipline revolves around knowing your child and being proactive with their needs and expectations.
It does not revolve around punishments or bribes, but these do have their place.
Most parents who want to learn how to be a good mother to a toddler also want to know:
- how to be a better parent without yelling
- how to be a better mom to my son
- how to be a better single mother
- how to be a better parent to a teenager
- how to be a better mom to a baby
Parenthood is full of trials tribulations and effective parenting involves providing a healthy environment for your toddler to learn, grow and flourish in.
Remember, this will always involve pushing boundaries as they need to learn what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.
How To Be A Good Mother To A Toddler: 7 Effective Methods
1. Show love and affection.
Attention is a key way to be a good mother to a toddler. Toddlers crave attention and they often look for it in the wrong way. This behaviour can be labelled as disruptive, defiant and centres around the “terrible twos” stage.
The best way to combat this developmental milestone is to show more love and attention to the good things they do and less emphasis on the negative moments.
Communication is key to being a good mother. Many parents forget that while your toddler can inderstand a vas tmajority of what yousay they are still learning the necessary vocabulary to put together to express themselves. This uncertainty can lead them to become aggressive and lash out as they seek to express to you how they are feeling. Try to avoid this communicating well with your toddler so they are aware of what is about to happen and when.
3. Be a role model
This seems obvious but toddlers learn a vast majority of the way they view you and the world through their parents view it. If you are scared of spiders, then you’ll your toddler will be. Good at football, then your toddler may pick it up etc.
Being a good role model is more then just showing them the right things to do and say in each environment. It’s about putting your best foot forward and keeping calm when they are being confrontational with power struggles.
4. Provide structure & routine
Learning how to be a good mother to a toddler involves running their calendar with routine and structure. You need to have clear wake-up times, frequent playgroups and outside activities, regular nap times and appropriate diet restrictions.
This will help you to give them a positive structure to the day and allow them to know what’s coming next. Many toddlers act out when they are unsure about what is happening and why it is. Avoid this by keeping to a strict routine to help them feel secure and allow them to develop a sense of independence.
5. Push interdependence
Toddlers need to know that they are trusted to do things by themselves. As they get older they will want to be involved in more of the day to day running of the house and will want you to give them more responsibilities.
Don’t shy away from this as it’s your chance to prove to them that you see their help as important. This will provide them with a great sense of purpose and achievement and maximise the trust they have for you.
You can also give them a task to do and then when they get into problem instead of doing it yourself tell them what they should do to figure it out themselves.
6. Be patient
Learning how to be a good mother to a toddler involves a ton of patience.
Ask any mother caring for a toddler and she will tell you her most used asset is patience. If you want to be a good mother you need to learn to be patient with your toddler and give them the freedom to make mistakes.
Making and learning from mistakes is an important part of self discovery and problem solving skills and will equipped your child with the fundamental building blocks of life as they grow up.
7. Dealing with conflict
If there was a “how to be a good mother to a toddler” handbook, learning how to diffuse conflicts and tantrums will be No. 1!
Tantrums are a regular occurrence as your toddler fights to seek independence and purpose. You can minimise the impact of most tantrums by following these guidelines:
How To Be A Good Mother To A Toddler Handbook
- Make sure their basic needs are met: Ensure your child is not too tired, too hungry or thirsty or not stimulated enough. This will mean that they will throw less body related tantrums.
- Pick your battles: Sometimes not all battles need to be won and you can retreat safely in the knowledge that your saving your best resilience for the next war!
- Offer choices: This will give your toddler a sense of freedom and responsibility. If they have chosen something specifically they will be more likely to follow any accompanying rules that go along with it.
- Avoid putting them in situations that will incite frustrations. A good example is giving your toddler a toy game for 7 years olds and up. They won’t understand the rules and will get upset when they aren’t able to play correctly.
- Encourage your child to express themselves by using their words instead of hitting or lashing out!
Respect your toddlers decisions no matter how bizarre they may sound. Toddlers requests can sometimes seem a bit bizarre and out of context but as long as it’s not hurting anyone give them what they need. Your job is to keep the peace and sometimes that means giving in to smaller ambiguous requests.
An example of this is if your toddler want’s to sleep with some bath toys in the bed. It’s not needed in the bed but it’s not a big deal to let them have it.
Show them respect for their wishes and they should, in turn, show you the same respect back!
One important part of parenting is figuring out what your triggers are and working around them. Learning how to be a better parent without yelling is a popular question many parents ask. Let’s also explore the key to parenting and keeping your emotions in check
How To Be A Better Parent Without Yelling
Many parents who want to learn how to be a better parent without yelling understand the frustrations of having children. Learning how to be a good mother to a toddler and to older children involves understanding your triggers.
Sometimes you can try everything but they just don’t follow your commands and constantly do the opposite.
It can feel enraging to feel that the only way to get through to them is to yell, but there are effective things you can learn to help.
Step 1: Figure out your trigger
Figure out what behaviour you usually find yourself yelling at more. Once you figure out the pattern or types of behaviour that trigger the more eruptive type yelling you can create ways to avoid it.
For example, if you tend to yell more at night when you’ve had a long day, you know that you need to sort the kids out, bath them, put PJ’s on and get them to bed, then maybe you should start the bedtime routine a bit earlier.
In that way you should a little bit more energy to use up without having to resort to yelling.
Step 2: Provide clear warnings
It’s ok to give FIRM warnings for behaviour that you would otherwise have shouted for. If the warnings are clear and very firm then it may have the same effect as yelling would.
Learning how to be a better parent without yelling is about knowing which cards to play and when. Sometimes a warning will do and the behaviour will or it will help them prepare for something that should be doing.
If, for example, they are playing with toys and they know they should be in the bathroom washing up, try to give a firm warming to let them know that if they don’t get in the bathroom now then they will get in real trouble!
Step 3: Don’t try to teach the lesson instantly
When your kids are being disruptive of confrontational your immediate response will be to tell them what, when, and why they shouldn’t be doing what they have just done.
Sometimes it’s easier and more realistic to avoid conflict by bringing the attention to the problem area in 5, 10 or 15 minutes time. Once you’ve calmed down and so have they. This will help to teach the lesson in a more progressive and more peaceful way.
Step 4: Is it normal?
Children fight, play, hit, jump and smash things. It’s normal behaviour and sometimes it’s easy to forget that they are just being children and are not purposely getting on your nerves.
Learning how to be a better parent without yelling involves remembering why you decided to be a parent in the first place. Patience is important but looking at the context of bad behaviour is also just as important.
For example, if it’s just before bed and both children are jumping and flying in and out the room, you can probably conclude that they are overtired and are just getting there last bit of energy out.
They don’t know it but that is tiredness hitting them and they are just going along with what feels normal. Remember the context of the behaviour you are trying to parent and be flexible to your expectations.
Step 5: Be Proactive
You know when your kids drive you up the wall the most. If it’s in the morning then plan ahead. Have breakfast and school stuff ready and laid out then all they have to do is get up and get washed.
Work within your routine and find ways to plan ahead to avoid conflict. The best way to stop yelling at your children is to find your triggers for yelling and then avoid causing behaviour that may contribute to it.
Step 6: Apologies
Sometimes shouting and yelling at your child can be very abrupt. This usually happens when you have a lot on your mind and your child does something that just makes you snap.
Whatever the reason you’ve yelled excessively about sometimes it’s necessary to apologise. This won’t’ happen all the time, but occasionally it’s important that your kids know you are working through stuff and sometimes get it wrong.
This will promote empathy and will also remind you that yelling and shouting at your kids is the wrong way to deal with the situation.
Parenting can be a difficult job with both parents, but if you are a single parent then it can be a lot more stressful. Let’s explore how to be a better single mother as many single parents can sometimes struggle to perform everyday tasks by themselves.
How To Be A Better Single Mother
Raising a child can be difficult when you are in a relationship but when you are a single parent it can turn from difficult to very stressful. The pressure mounts and it can sometimes get overbearing as you try to balance so many roles all at the same time.
However, there are realistic ways to manage expectations and other strategies you can use to propel you and your family forward positively.
How To Be A Better Single Mother: 7 Positive Mindset Tips
1. Show love
Always remember to show praise and affection to your child. It’s the most fundamental principle for parenting but it’s at the top for a reason. Remember the reason you decided to have children in the first place and set some aside each week just for 1 – 1 time.
2. Routines work
Parenting is all about routines and sticking to timetables. This will give your child the security and foundation that they need.
3. Child Care
It’s essential you find a well trained and professional childcare service. It may be more expensive but ensure that the care is right for you and your family structure.
4. Rules and Expectations
Set limits in your household so that your child knows, unquestionable, what you will and won’t put up with. Try and write them out if you can. As your child grows you can re-write and edit them as you see fit. Put them in an obvious place in the home.
5. Don’t spoil
Spoiling any child is always short-lived. Children react better in the long term to praise and appreciation as opposed to gifts and treats. Regardless of the reason why you are a single parent don’t overcompensate by spoiling your child as it will have negative effects as they grow. If you really have to spoil them with something, spoil them with love!
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Good Friends and family are always willing to lend an extra hand as they can appreciate that it’s not easy doing the job you do. If the help is available accept it with open arms. If it was the other way around you would assist your friends and family so don’t feel guilty that they just want to help.
7. Keep positive
Whatever is happening right now won’t last forever and everything changes over time. If things are difficult to talk to your child. Don’t shield them from the fact that you are trying to make ends meet. Keeping them in the loop will strengthen your relationship and will teach power emotional lessons of gratitude, empathy and the willingness to help others.
How To Be A Better Single Mother: 6 Effective Strategies
1. Set Boundaries
It’s important you set boundaries between yourself and your child so that you don’t have the unintended consequence of having them lead you into decisions that are too much in their favour.
Any parent and child relationship must have clear foundational rules to prevent exploitation. Children are smart and may manipulate their situation to get what they want.
For example, if your child mentions something like “When I stay with my dad, his wife lets me eat ice cream every day for dessert” then don’t be coerced into caving in. Remind them that it’s not ok and “in this household, there are rules you have to follow”
2. Say No
Many single parents find it difficult to say no. If they are leveraging a situation to get you to bend and you don’t feel it is acceptable then say no.
There are clear rules in place for a reason and too much exploitation of them will send out the wrong message about your parental structure and discipline regime.
3. Set a positive example
Things aren’t always going to go the way you planned it and you have to be resilient in your parenting approach and set a good example. By keeping positive and leading by example you show your children that despite the setbacks you are still strong and determined to make things work.
This attitude will rub off on your child as they have their own trials and tribulations.
4. Be approachable
Sometimes single parents are so tied up in the important aspects of running a home, family and a career that they don’t seem approachable for the small things.
Although all those things are important don’t lose sight of what you are doing it all for. Try to keep yourself open and approachable so that your child feels they can come to you for the small things.
Then when something big does happen in their life they will let you know first as you’ve built the trust and respect to be available for them n matter what.
5. Get outside your comfort zone.
This applies to single parents and normal parents but you have to step outside your comfort zone occasionally. You may already do this as a single parent as you take on both parenting roles but also try to do different things with your child.
They should feel inspired by what you do and how you do it as well.
6. Be Selfish
Looking after number 1 is crucial when learning how to be a better single mother. It may feel wrong but if you don’t create an environment where you can refresh, relax and rejuvenate you’ll never be able to achieve the things you want to.
Self-reflection time is just as important as “Go Get It” attitude time so don’t forget to give yourself a pamper day once a month. This also has the added benefit of putting a new perspective on your current life and environment which will give the chance to better reflect on your child and how much you appreciate them!
Even if other parents don’t like me for it, I adopt the above guideless as it works.
Learning how to be a good mother to a toddler takes time but as long as you are proactive, patience and positive you’ll stand the best chance of doing the best you can.