Dealing with an Unsupportive Husband After a C-Section
Parenting

Dealing with an Unsupportive Husband After a C-Section

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Dealing with an unsupportive husband after a c-section can be highly challenging.

Every mom that goes through a  cesarean section deserves a high level of care. And not getting the assistance you need can be frustrating.

It could make you doubt your partner’s love and commitment.

A simple Google search of this topic will return a significant number of moms who think their husbands are not doing enough for them after CS. 

Delivering through a c-section is painful and it could come with some health challenges.

After a CS, you will need your partner to weigh in and undertake some routine activities from cleaning, doing laundry to cooking.

The good news is that you can get him to support you without endangering the love and bond you share.

The question is, how do you get your partner to take responsibility and give you the level of attention and help you need?

If you want to find out, read on to learn how to make your husband support you adequately.

How to Cope with an Unsupportive Husband After a C-Section?

Handling an unsupportive partner can be difficult.

You will likely have some thoughts running through your mind, ranging from doubting his love to thinking they are being selfish.

When not handled properly, it could lead to a series of relationship troubles.

In romantic relationships, what triggers misunderstanding is rarely what leads to extreme outcomes like breakups. 

More often than not, it is how both parties respond to the trigger that determines the fate of the relationship.

In a nutshell, you can turn the situation around in your favor by taking the right steps.

With a few old, proven tricks, your husband will start providing you with all the support you need.

Here are some age-long strategies to change your unsupportive husband after a cesarean section:

1. Do Not Shout at Him

It is difficult, if not impossible, not to get mad at your partner when he is not stepping up to care for you.

However, shouting at him or displaying a ‘crazy’ attitude will be counterproductive. 

The best approach is to stay calm and avoid engaging him without caution.

If getting your husband to take responsibility is what you desire, you must be strategic about it.

Going about it the wrong way could put your relationship on the line.

Screaming at him or telling him how awful he has been will not produce the result you want. Strategic communication is the solution.

2. Tell Him How You Feel and What You Want

It is logical to assume that your spouse understands how you feel. But no one understands your feelings more than you do.

Instead of screaming at him for not being there for you, why not let him know how you feel and what you want?

What if he is just being clueless and not selfish as you may have thought? At times, men act like kids.

You will need to spell out what you want from them before they can take responsibility. 

Tell him what you are going through and what you need him to do for you. Endeavor to specify the areas you need his assistance.

Telling him to support you is not enough. Do not allow him to figure things out on his own.

Do you want him to do the dishes? Do you want him to feed the baby while you get enough sleep? Tell him. Be specific!

See a related post: Pregnancy Announcement To Husband

3, Ask Him to Apply for a Paternity Leave

This may not be possible since not all regions or jobs grant paternity leave.

Have an honest discussion with your spouse to see if he can take some time off duty.

In some cases, husbands are not able to help adequately because of demanding work schedules.

If there is no possibility of taking a leave, both of you will need to find a way around it.

One of the viable options is to have him optimize his schedules to enable him to spend more time at home.

4. Hire a service

This is a great option you should consider, especially when your husband can not take some time off from work.

However, hiring a service requires a considerable amount of money. If you can not afford it, asking family and friends for help is advisable.

Whatever option you choose to consider, you have to discuss it with your husband.

You are supposed to have such a discussion before delivery – even when you are planning a vaginal delivery.

What if the need for an emergency cesarean section comes up?

Adopting a proactive approach towards pregnancy and childcare will save you a lot of post-delivery stress.

Conclusion

Delivering your baby through a cesarean section comes with a lot of challenges.

It makes coping with basic responsibilities very difficult. Without complications, it takes between 6 to 8 weeks before you will start feeling yourself again after a CS. In those 8 weeks, you will need your husband to support you in taking care of the baby and the home.

But if he fails to give you attention, you can follow the tips above to get him to help you.

Truly, having an unsupportive husband after a c-section is an experience no mom deserves.

However, you can get him to support you by communicating strategically.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Does C-Section Affect Mother?

Maternal mortality and morbidity are more likely after a c–section than after vaginal delivery.

Some complications like uterine rupture, abnormal placentation, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, etc., are associated with c-sections.

CS has both short-term and long-term effects on the health of mothers.

What is More Painful C-Section or Natural Birth?

Vaginal delivery is more painful than a cesarean section.

However, the pain of CS plus the health challenges it poses to the mother and the baby make the initial pain of vaginal delivery preferable.

How Many C-Sections Can You Have?

People are unique and every case is different. However, according to current medical best practices, most medical agencies recommend a maximum of three c-sections.

 

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Iesha Mulla

Iesha is a loving mother of 2 beautiful children. She's an active parent who enjoys indoor and outdoor adventures with her family. Her mission is to share practical and realistic parenting advice to help the parenting community becoming stronger.

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