If you find yourself constantly thinking “My Grown Step Daughter Hates Me!”, then this post is for you.
Stepparents are rarely ever treated fairly.
Even from the most superficial depictions in the media, they are the worst of the worst.
From wrecking happy homes to mistreating stepchildren, it seems there’s no way they can win.
That’s why it can be a bit surprising when the stepchild is the villain of the story.
Like many other stepparents, you may be wondering why my grown stepdaughter hates me.
Here’s what you need to know and how you can change this.
Related: My Husband Hates My Daughter! 4 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship
Related: How to deal with manipulative step daughter
My Grown Step Daughter Hates Me
No matter what age they are, most children do not react well to a stepparent.
Children want the idyllic family setup, and a stepparent is a threat to that no matter what the circumstances are.
Your grown stepdaughter may resent having you around, especially if you’re taking over the role of a mother.
Even if you’re nice to her, she may feel like liking you is disloyal to her biological mother.
She may also be too used to having all your spouse’s attention and will not be happy about sharing.
In death cases, she could also feel like no one can replace her biological parent and be taking it out on you.
As a result, they are likely to be very disrespectful to you and act entitled.
While trying to win them over by being nice is important, it may not always be the best approach.
In fact, your grown stepdaughter may think you’re soft and continue walking all over you.
Here’s what you should try instead:
1. Setting clear boundaries
Your grown stepdaughter should not be too comfortable with your new home.
Now that you’re part of the family, she needs to respect that and know where the boundaries are.
It would be best to sit her down with your spouse and layout how you expect her to behave going forward.
It should be clear that respect and basic decency towards you are expected, especially from her biological parent.
2. Cultivating common interests
While you don’t have to get along immediately with your adult stepdaughter, you can build a relationship over time.
The easiest way of doing this is by finding a common interest between you.
This way you’ll have something to do together and talk about while building a cordial relationship.
Blended families take some getting used to for everyone involved.
That’s why shared family events are so crucial for spending quality time with each other.
Your grown stepdaughter needs to get used to having you around as part of the family.
4. Talking it out
Sometimes your stepdaughter may not think that her behavior towards you has a negative effect.
The great thing about having a grown stepdaughter is that you can actually have an in-depth conversation with them.
Ensure that you have a talk with her and let her know how her behavior is affecting you.
It can be very demoralizing when you start thinking my grown stepdaughter hates me.
While the reasons for this may not be obvious, there’s a lot you can do to change this.
Iesha is a loving mother of 2 beautiful children. She’s an active parent who enjoys indoor and outdoor adventures with her family. Her mission is to share practical and realistic parenting advice to help the parenting community becoming stronger.